Social Excellence: A Simple Guide to Sucess

Their exist a variety of personality tests that characterize people as introverted and extroverted. many believe that our traits are set in stone from birth. While the science behind this is under much debate, it is clear that there is much you can change. To thrive socially, there are many characteristics that you need to build; many of them are the fruits of trial and error. However by sticking to the outline provided in the article and slowly adapting yourself, a solid base of change is sure to be built.

Negative thought patterns

Negative thoughts are the bane of any new endeavor. These thoughts often repeat in a never ending cycle, ensuring that you gain no progress. As such, it is important to practice mindfulness and end this state of being. The points discussed are engineered to interrupt or prevent these thoughts. The most important thing to gain from this article is to identify these thought by ruminating their existing from prior experience. Once they are recognized and eliminated, it is is infinitely easier to approach social situations. Although this sounds easy in practice, getting rid of them is easier said than done. Take your time, but do not flinch from uneasiness.

Eliminate the looking-glass self

The looking glass self is a theory created by Charles Cooley and it states that our self perception is influenced by how we think others perceive us. Small actions made by our peers are easily misunderstood and blown out of proportion within our minds. As we can not guarantee the thoughts that exist within the minds of others, it is best to minimize this concern. Express yourself without deceit and those who react favorably to your ideas will naturally gravitate towards you. It is also important to understand that each individual is unique, and it is impossible to please everyone, so do not take it to heart if people exclude you from their circle. Therefore, being yourself will naturally allow you to please those that matter.

Plan it out

Many people find it easier to attend an event if it follows a script. If you are really struggling with putting yourself in a social situation of its unpredictable nature, try making contingencies for certain situations. How would you meet certain people, what do you say to stranger, and what to do in case of an accident are all examples of such preparation. It is best to follow this script loosely, as dependence to such scripts could ultimately end up doing harm. Once you are comfortable with the nature of events, try being more spontaneous with situations because reality does not lend itself perfect behaviors.

ShapingIt is not easy to fully commit to something that makes you nervous. Small steps that shape into a much larger goal is a good way to reinforce behaviors. For example, you could first try and attend a social event, then move onto larger goals such as talking to a stranger. One downside to such techniques is the amount of time it takes to accomplish the goal. However, it still remains a viable option due to its efficacy.

Join an organization

Meet new people that share the same passion as you. In such situations it is much easier to interact with other and build teambuilding and leadership skills. Being knowledgeable on the topics that you are interested in minimizes variables that keep you from speaking your mind. Joining organizations, whether that be for or non-profit can easily expose you to such environments. Research organizations that fit your schedule, ideally you want to maximize the amount of time spent as a part of a team.

The goal: self efficacy

All the above methods improve one aspect that is critical in social excellence: self efficacy. Confidence in ones ability to succeed is not an inborn ability. It comes as a product of the environment. You must cultivate it through tough times, sometimes to the point it feels uncomfortable. Once you do build this trait, changes in other aspects of your life become apparent. Problem solving, relationships, family life, you name it.